What We Know About Dallas and Miami Going Into Game 6

The Big Three:

1. Other than the controversial charge taken by Tyson Chandler (and no one even blames the refs for such a close play like that), the officiating has been excellent. Except for Joey Crawford (bald white guy), recipient of my "Most Gullible Official Award" for the sixth consecutive year. Seriously, if I got a nickel for every time Crawford calls a "phantom foul" when LeBron, D-Wade, or Dirk flounder about like someone just hammered a nail through their sphincter, I'd be a rich man. But even despite Crawford's presence, every game has been decided by the players. In no game thus far have I thought, "Dang, the refs really bent Miami/Dallas over in that one." Let's keep it this way.
2. Every time Chris Bosh gets the ball with a wide open lane to the basket, he does the same two-handed jam. Even though it's so repetitive, it never gets old and always looks cool.
3. We finally have the answer to every basketball fan's question: "If Bill Russell played today, how effective would he be?" A certain someone on the Heat is Bill Russell. His name is Joel Anthony. Anthony rebounds like a machine, uses his left-handedness to block the shots of right handers, and is an immovable force in the defensive paint. Yes, I know what you're thinking: "There's no way Joel fricking Anthony is as good as Bill Russell." And you're right. If Russell was born when Anthony was born and grew up playing the type of basketball that Anthony played, he would have a more modernized, effective game than when he actually played. What I'm saying is: take Bill Russell as he was from 1957 and place him in today's game. He will not be able to sit in the lane (defensive three seconds protects that) and block shots of smaller players like he did, he will have to elevate higher to block the shots of more athletic, black slashers like LBJ and K-Dur (not unathletic white guys like Dolph Schayes and Clyde Lovelette. Seriously, look at any action shot of a white basketball player from the 50's and 60's and notice how they never elevate more than 3.5 inches off the ground), and he will have to adjust to more leniency with offensive players bulldozing their way through defenders and somehow the foul being called on the defense (an evolutionary basketball trait that kills me. I miss the good ole days when you didn't have to be standing completely still and get trampled by a driving winger to get an offensive foul call). In Russell's defense, if he was born in the 80's and grew up playing modern basketball (1984 - present), he would adapt to the evolutions of the sport and still be one of the best defenders/rebounders/shot-blockers in our game's history. But if you take Russell as he was and place him in this Miami/Dallas series, he is about as effective as Joel Anthony (only Russell has a higher basketball IQ), who is actually pretty efficient.

Look at their feet. 5 inches tops, and even that is a generous listing. The three guys in the center from left to right: Ed Kalafat, Harry Gallatin, Clyde Lovellette. Never in a million years will three guys named Ed, Clyde and Harry be on a basketball floor at the same time in today's game.

Other facts:

1. Mario Chalmers is cool as shit, hitting timely threes and trotting back on defense like a badass (it should also be noted that he is hands-down the hottest guy in the NBA...).
2. The Mavericks aren't completely Dirk-dependent; they can still carry the load when their star isn't doing his best (eg. "Fever Game").
3. LeBron needs to step up his game in the fourth quarters unless he wants to be remembered like Karl Malone. Was Karl called the "Mailman" because he always delivered, or because he always "mailed it in" whilst the game was on the line? There's something to ponder.
4. This is one of the most tightly matched Finals in recent memory, a PPG average difference of 1.9.
5. Late in games, D-Wade is trying to take over (and consequently falling short), LeBron is deferring to teammates too often, and Dirk can't be stopped when he attacks the rim.
6. The Finals just aren't the same without Brian Scalibrine :(
7. The Heat is still in it. Remeber, NEVER DOUBT KING JAMES.
8. The Mavs have the advantage, NEVER COUNT OUT KAISER DIRK.

Happy Finals everyone. No matter how the season ends, it's been a good year for the NBA.